SCAPEGOAT

We had a lovely feast yesterday. My fabulous wife made an amazing dinner, all the classics done to perfection. We were joined by some friends who added their own wondrous contributions – we ate, drank and were merry. Talked late into the evening… it was truly a blessing and …

Why do I feel so, so sad today?

Manic depressive? Bi-Polar? Qi imbalance?

No. I feel guilty. Undeserving. But not the usual level… my heart physically aches.

As I hit the political blogs I’ve followed and shared my emotional roller coaster with… trying to find someone to … blame… just remove this hole from my chest…

It’s Iraq. It’s the next 7 Marines that will die defending my right to enjoy a day like yesterday.

It’s Tom DeLay. It’s the next billion dollars that gets spent by the media trashing/sanctifying this jerk.

It’s Donald Rumsfeld. It’s the victory of the DOD over the CIA, and the cementing of “groupthink” within the Government.

It’s Republican. It’s my Blue State with a Red Governor by 42 votes.

It’s Condi. and “the way you’re given knowledge slow with thought control and subtle hints
It's rubbing it, itching it, It's applying cream
It's the foreigners sight seeing with high beams, It's in my dreams
It's the monsters that I conjure, It's the marijuana
It's the embarrassment, displacement, It's where I wander
It's my genre, It's Madonna's videos
It's game shows, its cheap liquor, blunts, its bumper stickers with rainbows
It's angels, demons, gods, it's the white devils
It's the monitor, the soundman, it's the motherfucking mic levels
It's gas fumes, fast food, Tommy Hil, mommy's pill
Columbia House music club, designer drugs and rhyming thugs
It's bloods, cripts, fives, six,
It's stick up kids, It's christian conservative terrorists, it's porno
flicks
It's the east coast, no it's the west coast
It's public schools, it's asbestos
It's mentholated, It's techno
It's sleep, life, and death
It's speed, coke, and meth
It's hay fever, pain relievers, oral sex, and smokers breath
It stretches for as far as the eye can see
It's reality, fuck it , it's everything but me
”*


*Sean (Say My Name) Daley


So. It’s everything but me. I’m guessing not.

What do I need to change my mind about?