(Twas the Eve of Election: a bad parody of Night Before Christmas)

By John Koziol


‘Twas the eve of election
and await in their houses
were sisters and brothers,
and nail-biting spouses.

TVs were tuned in to CNN and Fox,
Some had just radios; no idiot box.

As old Sol vanished below western mounts,
pundits spoke knowingly of irregular counts.

Most voters scoffed and awaited real tallies
Some stayed home private; some went to rallies.

Six o’clock, seven, and eight PM came,
Vote counts were even, both men had the same!

From Florida, from Georgia, Ohio, and Maine
The election was deadlocked (this is insane!)

Lawyers descended like locusts on grass
To argue with vigor what should fail and pass.

At 1 AM Eastern, Alaska checked in
The newsanchors looked up and said, with a grin,

“It’s 269-269, the elections a tie!”
“attorneys are filing for this and that guy”

The public was stunned as they witnessed the mess;
would courts or the House the election address?

The story I’ve told you is naught but a fable;
all votes do count, so vote if you’re able!

Let’s pause for thought, and hope and pray
that we all know who won by the end of the day.